Dear Delia,

I don’t know how to say this, but me and you? Its just not working out is it?

We used to be so great together. Back in the day when I first started cooking we were inseparable. I was an ex-veggie, couldn’t even cook a sausage. You came into my life in the form of many cookery books, given to me by my dad, over-whelmed with happiness as he was that I was finally ready to move on from cheese filled Findus Crispy Pancakes and for the those early, heady days together it was great. I learnt loads from you and yeah, your picture on the cover now looks pretty filthy these days, but who wants a clean book?

If I’m honest though Delia, I started seeing someone else. Mary Berry. I just didn’t have the cake tin sizes that you wanted for Jacobs birthday cake and she came to my rescue. Yeah, ok my first try with her was rubbish, but sometimes the first time you go with someone new it isn’t all that. The second attempt was fantastic though. View Post



My mummy writes the big sensible blogs here normally where she pretends to be good at craft and stuff. But have you ever had any of her cakes? Ahem. Lets just say the victora sponge she made for my birthday took her two attempts, a whole heap of words I’m not supposed to hear and apparently forced her to drink a whole lot of mummy juice afterwards. I don’t know what’s in mummy juice, but my mum seems rather keen on it and she won’t let me have any, even though it looks nice and she claims that its kinda fruit based so it would probably count towards my five a day.

Anyway, she looked a bit knackered after out most recent 4am chat  so I thought I would do a blog for her and share the yummy cakes I made yesterday at the childminders. Check these bad boys out.

Chocolate. Cornflakes. General yummyness. The cornflakes have (probably) got some vitamins added to them, the chocolate looks good when I dribble it down my white tshirt or wipe my chocolatey hands on the new tele. (Go ahead and judge people, but I made it very clear to mummy and daddy that when the tele and fridge both broke last week the one that needed replacing first was the one with Makka Pacca)

Mummy will probably do a proper sensible blog here next week, but in the meantime, feel free to nominate me for any of big blogging awards, or at least comment. No one wants a toddler checking their wordpress to find no comments in there. That’s almost as annoying as when mummy failed to make the helicopters come back the other day. I’m probably gonna need therapy for that.

Love and chocolate dribbles,

jacob x



What on earth do I call my son?

I mean, yeah, he has a name, he’s 19 months old so it’d be pretty slack if I hadn’t got that one sorted out by now, but what do I call him on here? Do I call him his real name (which I’ve done quite a few times), ‘my son’ (which sounds pointlessly formal) or a made up thing like his initial or something? I suppose what I’m really asking myself is, do I think that if I write about my son online them I’m putting him in some kind of danger from a paedophile?

And I am genuinely interested in other people’s views on this, because I’ve read a lot of blogs but only a few of them actually name their kids and now I’m a bit concerned this might make me a bad parent in some way?

My story is this, when I was a kid, I had a best friend who for the purpose of this we’ll call X. X was my best mate through primary and junior school. Her mum was one of my mums best mates, they used to go out for lunch, us kids would have dinner round each others and sometimes I’d stay there at the weekend. They were a very religious family (mine were atheist) and sometimes I’d go to Sunday School with X if I’d stayed there. Her dad worked in the city, did a bit of business abroad and after X’s mum died, it was also discovered that he was a paedophile. You saw that coming, right?

Nothing ever happened to me, but I’m sure I know people that it did happen to. This is the thing, isn’t it? It was my mums best mates husband. She was a lovely woman. I wouldn’t expect that of any of my friends husbands and I know they would be horrified if such a thing was ever suggested. I’ve certainly never been worried about any of them abusing my son.

Umm...what are you called again?

That’s not to say I don’t worry about these things. When I was pregnant I had the experience a lot of people have of people touching my bump. One of which was a man who I was later informed by a reliable friend  is on the sex offenders list to do with issues a child. Check out the parenting guilt on that one! Needless to say I’ve steered clear of this man since then.

It’s a tricky one isn’t it? I’ve worked in sport for a while and my husband works for a church. These sectors don’t breed paedophiles, but the level of trust means that people looking to abuse trust do migrate there, its an awful thing but true (and it does make us sound like a nightmare couple to leave your kids with?!) I wouldn’t stop my son going to a football club, but if I’m perfectly, will probably get a bit in trouble for this, honest, I would feel a bit funny about leaving him at a church thing. That’s probably down to my own experience though.

So does naming my son online leave him more open to abuse, could anyone really be bothered to go through my blog and them hunt down where we live and befriend him? It seems a bit like an effort to me, but I’m still not sure what the answer is. Would love to know your thoughts!